What do I get out of being offended? I get to be right. I get to put people out of my heart. I get to be a victim.

I've been noticing that recently, I have been getting offended quite easily with my number one enlightenment coach, my husband.

Today, he woke up early and began playing videos from his phone. It was 5:30am. Let the mind training begin :)

Here were the thoughts that were triggered:

1. I could get up and meditate.
2. He is so inconsiderate of my sleep.
3. Breathe, count your breaths. Stay peaceful.
4. What a jerk!

I said, "Honey, I am trying to sleep." Interesting choice of victim words. I could have said, "Honey, the noise is bothersome to me. Please turn it down."

I could also look at my interest in being bothered.

In the end, after he turned down the sound and I could still hear it. I chose to go sleep down on the couch. I didn't feel antagonistic, so I felt I wasn't losing this peace battle to the ego...however....

I grabbed by pillow and made zero eye contact with him. A silent, "You are not on my good list right now" kind of message.

Down on the sofa, I got a few winks and then he turned up the volume and it traveled down the stairs and basically, it was the same disturbance level.

This time I got up and meditated. I sat in front of the screen door in the kitchen and listened to the birds. I could also hear the trucks setting up for their daily road work out in front of our house and I thought, "Are these sounds really any different than the sound from the videos that my beloved was playing?"

What came to my awareness is that I know it is a choice to be offended by him. I choose to create dramatic exits and entrances to let him know that he is not winning my heart over. In fact, he's fucking up.

I find ways to punish him and as Edwene Gaines says, "Put him out of my heart."

I woke up to this quote from David Hawkins as it appeared on Lisa Natoli's facebook page:

First, I allowed my opinion of his "annoying video sound" to be an obstacle to perfect joy. Then I valued separation over togetherness. I valued my personal space of quiet (which wasn't available really with the birds, the construction and LIFE going on outside) over my connection with my husband. I valued the idea of him being wrong over the truth of his innocence and perfection.

It's time to release my attack thoughts, one by one, day by day, until I no longer have interest in separation. Who's with me? Getting upset is a choice and it's one that doesn't produce enjoyable results, take it from me!