I look forward to him rejecting me...

In Byron Katie's Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet, the final step is to put a stressful thought after the words, "I look forward to."

Many times I have felt rejected by my husband. I have felt that he rejects my cry for love. I have felt that he rejects my feelings, and/or my requests.

While doing the process Byron Katie calls, The Work, I have explored this experience of rejection. Her process encourages you to turnaround your stressful thoughts in as many ways as you can. If my original statement was "My husband rejects me," I can try, "I reject him"; "He doesn't reject me"; and "I reject me".

In this process, it is possible to see the mirroring of my own unhealed behavior.

What I have come to notice is the way that many of us reach a point where our romantic partners, bosses, children, mothers, fathers, friends do not give us that love we desire. We experience suffering due to our disappointment and conclusions that we are not lovable, good enough or worthy of a loving relationship.

How could we say we look forward to this experience?

What I have come to learn is that it forces us to be the love of our lives. During a time when I felt my husband was not affectionate enough, and I made the meaning that he didn't love me. I started to say words to myself in the mirror and to wrap my arms around myself in bed. I began to say to myself the words I desired to hear from him. Part of me didn' t buy it, and another part knew it was the ultimate destination of a true loving relationship with myself.

When I let go of needing things from my husband, he could offer them more freely. He has begun being more affectionate, when I am not seemingly trying to suck the life out of him. :)

Each time another does not offer the love we desire, we have the opportunity to offer the love to ourselves. A Course In Miracles says there is only ONE. Meaning, there is only ONE being, ONE mind, ONE person showing up in many individuations (trippy). This thought provokes that what we give to ourselves, we give to all.What we withhold to ourselves, we withhold from all. When we seek outside of ourselves for LOVE, we are saying that we dont have, or we are lacking somehow.

Once you look forward to rejection, you are also FREE because when you don't need love from another, you can allow them to show up authentically.

Comments

Day One: Starting

When I met my husband back in 2009, it was an intense “intrigue at first sight”. I felt a deep connection to his gaze, and he held me very tenderly and intently. I can’t prove that we had known each other before, but my first thoughts were “Who are you?”. “How are you so captivating?”. Fast forward to present day, we are married. I would say that up until just a few weeks ago, most of our eight-year relationship we were in what A Course In Miracles calls the “special relationship.” He was an idol to me. His love, affection, reactions and actions could send me soaring to feelings of intense happiness, or plunging into dark places of fear. Feeling that I needed his love, his affection, and his undivided attention would send me into moments of fear, rage, jealousy and suspicion. Thanks to the brilliant work of Byron Katie, I began questioning the thoughts that often sent me spiraling. Her process of asking the four questions, “Is it true?”, “Can you absolutely know that it’s true?”...

Unsubscribe to guilt

Readers! I have taken a hiatus. Thank you for your patience. Guess what? I am not guilty for leaving my blog unattended. Guilt is my topic today. The message is: unsubscribe! I've been looking closely at Chapter 13 in A Course in Miracles, titled, "The Guiltless World." After reading in section 1: "Love and guilt cannot coexist, and to accept one is to deny the other." I find the message is so simple and so profound. I can not feel love in my heart when I am participating in guilting others or myself. Reading this chapter has made me aware of when I make others wrong and has inspired me to pursue a life without guilt. Let's dig deeper! Real life application : The other day while at a four-way stop someone went out of queue and turned instead of me. I made a sound. You know those mouthy sounds that signify disgust, disappointment, disapproval. It was actually a really nice-appearing lady who smiled and waved in her mini-van, and I felt sheepish for...

When you don't love, it hurts...

I'm inspired for my posts to respond to quotes from Byron Katie's book "Question your thinking, change the world." Here's today's: When you don't love the other person, it hurts, because love is your very self. And you can't make yourself do it! You can't make yourself love someone. But when you come to love yourself, you automatically love the other person. You can't not. Just as you can't make yourself love us, you can't make yourself not love us. It's all your projection. What I get from this quote is that I haven't known LOVE according to it's highest, purest form. I've known attachment and entanglement. When I ask myself the question, "How can I get to a point where I know myself AS LOVE?", I think: meditate. It's brilliant because I can sense this is where the intellect meets a wall. You can't think your way to knowing yourself as LOVE. In my awareness, this must be experienced...

Holy Relationship bound

Search This Blog